Happy Holidays everyone!
It’s been about a year since I participated in my last exhibition, “Headspace”, and I have been so hesitant to list those pieces for sale. They were so important to me because they were the first paintings I created for an actual art show not related to school or explicitly commissioned. They’re definitely the most PERSONAL artworks I’ve ever made. I’m proud to say I have finally listed them and they’re ready for new homes!
I never expected this one pesky issue to arrive in my art journey: parting with my paintings. Now, I should’ve seen this problem coming from a million miles away… if you saw my HOARD of old sketchbooks you’d know why. Selling or giving away my artwork is extremely difficult for me at times. Even commissions are a challenge to complete because I know that once I hand off the painting, I will likely never see it again. And even if I DO see it again, I’ll probably only see all the weaknesses and flaws and struggle to resist touch ups!
There’s a fallacy in my head that plays over and over – I am weeping, seeking new inspiration and ideas, and there’s only 1 hope left for me. I creep over to my bookshelf and pry an ancient sketchbook from its eternal resting place. Wiping dust off its aging cover, I flip through my cringe-inducing middle school sketchbook and FINALLY find the key to unlocking the creativity that’s been shut tight within me for eons!!! When in actuality, just taking some photos of the drawings/paintings I like and simply parting with them is sufficient for referencing old work.
When I was preparing to move from Florida to Massachusetts, I had recently inherited a lot of art pieces that my mother had hoarded for decades. My fiance and I were relocating across the country and only using 2 sedans to do it. I needed to downsize quickly; meaning a lot of the large art pieces were donated to Goodwill or put by the apartment complex dumpster. This was RIGHT after I graduated from college with my art degree… so it was depressing to literally throw away a lot of pieces I felt were key to my artistic development (despite them not being my best work). Actively sobbing like a maniac, I propped my artwork outside of the dumpster enclosure hoping someone might pick them up and display them somewhere.
I realized a huge part of my artistic process is losing that sense of preciousness in my work. If I’m willing to make mistakes, start over, cover things up, and go forward – I can constantly improve and create more impressive pieces. I had to change my perspective on my work to grow as an artist and as a person. I had to set my ego to the side and recognize that these works weren’t going in a gallery, they weren’t going to be sold, and they weren’t even going to be given to friends. For now, I am working on actually listing art and lowering the prices of my work so I can finally move paintings. I need to physically and psychologically create space for new art, and THAT is much more valuable to me than having a dusty vault of old artwork that no longer serves any purpose.
So what’s next? Last March, I started a long term art challenge – creating 100 images of places. This sounds kind of simple, but it has been one hell of a journey. It’s helping me to become less precious with my work and to create a dedicated artistic practice. I’m also dabbling in mixed media and really taking time to dive into my own artistic exploration and desires. I’m reconnecting with my intuition after YEARS of creating work specifically to impress a professor or a commissioner. After months of freelance design work, web development, and artistic hibernation, I’ve been having tons of surreal dreams teasing that this new era I’m working in is going to be an important one. Updates to come.
For now, it would mean the world to me if you could take some time to check out my shop! Being able to make money off of my artwork is a dream come true. If you can’t support my journey by purchasing a piece, simply following me on instagram means the world to me.
Thanks again for everything,
Haley
